Closed Azure Eyes Tell No Stories
by xxcrunchyxx
Summary: Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal -Naruto's dead. Kakashi's a mess. Our favorite little maniac is back. More than one heart will be broken.-Kakashi's POV. Angst. Cussing.
1. Heresy

The rain was heresy. It had no shame, no remorse, it just went on showering people like there was no tomorrow. Ruining perfect grace, marring the thoughts on which we wanted to remember someone. My mask plastered to my face. I wore two today so no one would see my lip quiver.

_It was shaking almost uncontrollably._

We all stared at the unmoving orange body that seemed to slowly lose its life though it was already dead. With the color gone from his cheeks, he no longer looked like the whiskered Naruto they knew and loved. Knew_._

Tsunade bit her lip as she bent down to the mahogany coffin and rested her hand on his chest. I saw her back muscles tense and her arms straighten. Was she really going to try again? Slowly, her hands began to light up as she put a healing jutsu into effect-her most powerful one at that. The bead on her forehead disappeared as she continued. He still didn't respond. No one moved, or spoke, or even ridiculed her futile attempts-for they'd tried too. Tears spilled down her sun kissed cheeks and onto his. I pitied her; this was probably a bad reoccurrence of déjà-vu in her mind. To remember back to when she couldn't save Dan, her lover; or her brother, which resembled Naruto so very much—the very thought sickened me and cut my thoughts off, only to direct them towards Obito. _Obito…_my hand unconsciously came up to my left eye. I smirked. Those two were so boisterous, so full of life, so wonderfully and madly energetic about the future only to have their dreams cut off short. I diverted my attention back towards Tsunade. Her blond pigtails feel forward and brushed his nose. Naruto always hated when they did that. It made him sneeze.

_Sadly, He didn't sneeze this time.  
_  
"I-I'm s-sorry, N-Naruto," she choked on her own words. I felt the lump rising in my throat also. She blamed herself. She was, after all, the Hokage. No one blamed her though. Her eyes squeezed tightly closed and an array of tears spilled from her lifeless eyes. "I-I'm sorry I, I let them get you..." her knuckles tightened on the coffin's edge. "I should have been there." Her voice cracked. "I should have...I should have...I shouldn't have given you that necklace. Y-you're the idiot for making that deal with me," she held the wood so tightly it cracked. "Shizune told you!" she screamed in anguish, breaking into a flurry of chokes and sputters, tears that knew no end. It hurt to see Godiname this depressed. Shizune stepped forward and held Tsunade by the arm, starting to pull her away, Tsunade tugged back and kissed him gently on the forehead, making sure to place it exactly where she did every time. His lips partly slightly as hers pressed his head into the pillow. Tsunade allowed Shizune to pull her away from her beloved Naruto. Countless raindrops mixed with tears of grief. Like I said...

_The rain had no remorse._

I looked around. Hinata was sobbing into Neji's shoulder-the first hint of compassion between the two cousins. Neji glanced down at her and pushed the stray hair behind her ear. He looked to the sky with those clear, clear eyes, as if looking for and thanking the mercy that allowed the rain to fall harder and drown out her sobs. Her fingers pressed into his toned chest, and his hair fell straight as it grew damper. How long had they been standing out there? An hour, maybe longer? It didn't matter. No one wanted to leave. Kiba, Shikamaru, Sai, Chouji, Ino, everyone else-all friends of his, all people he would have risked his life for and never turned down.

Sakura stepped up and buried her face in Naruto's clothes. "Idiot, y-you weren't supposed to die." She stroked his face lovingly and forced a slight smile. Her voice hoarsened to a whisper. "So wake up, okay Naruto? Please, wake up. Naruto, please, please, please wake up!" Her voice grew increasingly louder and broke the silence, giving off a feeling of grief as it condescended the rain that thought it had us all spellbound with misery. Truthfully, it did. Tears streamed heavily down her pale cheeks. This hurt her so much more than when Sasuke left. The memories of him alone stained her pillow for many nights. I could only imagine what Naruto would do to her. Quick intakes of breath grabbed everyone's attention. She was starting to hyperventilate. Just as the medics reached her, she broke into a scream that pierced everyone's hearts. They stumbled back. "Are you hurt?" "Miss Sakura, please speak to us." "Sakura, Sakura?" She buried her head in Naruto's shirt and continued to cry.

_Everyone needed to ever so often.  
_  
No one spoke. Not Gaara, who was silent by nature but had a certain look of despair and calamity swirling around in those blue sea-foam colored eyes; nor Guy, who always had something to say. Kurenai blinked rapidly and tried to keep the rain out of her baby's eyes. They didn't need to be stained with cruelty at such a young age. I looked around. Everyone Naruto ever knew who was still alive came. Half the Sand Country, most of the Hidden Waves country, and all of Konoha. I dug my foot into the ground and made a hole in the dirt-going-on-mud with my shoe. I looked up expectantly and waited for the next person to speak. Their eyes were all settled on me.

I dipped my head and shook it. There was nothing to be said. It was simple. Naruto was dead. The Akatsuki caught him. True they put him in hiding, and true they did everything to protect him, but up against Madara and the resurrected members, Naruto was out of lucky. The Kyuubi wouldn't have mattered. The Kages sealed him with one of their combined jutsus so he couldn't be traced. _Damn._ My white hair fell in my eyes, masking them from his broken body and their broken hearts. He was 17. Seventeen for God's sakes. Tell me, where did we go wrong?

_^.^_

Naruto looked through the bushes and closed his eyes. It wasn't even right that he was doing this. But they had to be protected. He'd given himself up. True, he could have told them his plan. But that would make it harder for them to act at the funeral. The Shadow Clone jutsu alone was easy enough to master, but maintaining its form while not giving it any sign of life was hard. Neji and Hinata's Byakugan and the sensei's sharp skills could sense stuff like that. Naruto drew his kunai for no particular reason. "Damn it," it took everything he had to stop from bursting through those bushes and sprint the 100 yards towards them and scream, "Here I am! Naruto Uzumaki is ready to be made Hokage!" and strike the good guy pose. Instead he turned his back towards the friends he loved and trusted oh so much, and let them believe the fact that he was dead. Inside, he believed it too.

The great Naruto Uzumaki would never become Hokage.

The rain slowly dispersed his thoughts and left them on the ground-broken, shattered, like Haku's Ice mirror. _They would have been friends._

He started to trudge through the falling tears of everyone above him and left his life as he knew behind.

_Closed azure eyes tell no stories._


	2. Cuts Equals Scars

Team Seven no longer felt like Team Seven. True, Sasuke defected and was replaced with Sai, but the physical similarities and the thought of what Sasuke did to us made the transition easier. I know what you're thinking, I was only the teacher that tried to protect Naruto from getting hurt, but in all honesty, I was hurting myself. Much more than everyone knew. I failed my team, moreover, I failed Naruto.

What type of Jounin allows his underling to walk off like that?

I stopped reading my books for awhile after he left—for he was one of my favorites. One of the first to also master my Chidori. It gave me a sense of pride knowing I was a capable teacher and could teach someone a technique of my own. After he left, I fell asleep at night cutting myself, trying to avoid the nightmares that were to come once my eyes closed.

My arms still have the scars.

Even so, I can only imagine what tonight will be like. True I got over Sasuke, but then again, Sasuke isn't dead. However, Naruto never betrayed us, never hurt us, wouldn't even think of coming within an inch of it. _Oh, Naruto…_

=^.^=

I turned over in my bed and buried my head in the pillow. It was only mid-day, but my room was as black as night. Tsunade-sama wouldn't be sending me out on missions for awhile. She saw that this particular death hit me hard. When I walked into town, people would tap me shoulder, console me, try to help me.

Personally, it all wasn't worth a damn.

I was quieter than normal now, I didn't have opinions on anything anymore. I sombered through Konoha, noticing the tiniest details though they weren't important. It was still being rebuilt, and most of the main buildings didn't exist yet. It was food stores, houses, other essential stores, then the tall buildings, Hokage's office, and minor buildings like the bookstore. We were only on stage two of this process. I devoted time to helping, constructing small houses and putting forth what effort would come out. Naruto would help, too, with his Tajuu Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. It was quite a sight seeing Naruto's everywhere you turned, and having the control not to punch one just for the hell of it. Sakura couldn't ever resist, and Sai would smile when she did.

Those days are over now.

I trudged home from a long day of work next to Iruka. He saw the cuts on my arms from before when Sasuke left and was watching me closely. He insisted on staying with me tonight to watch me. To make sure I didn't take the easy road and commit suicide. The thought hadn't occurred to me until he mentioned it. It was the easy road after all. Before bed Iruka searched my pillows and patted me down. I wanted to ask him to stay in the room with me, but it was already weird he was here. I had become afraid of the night in some form, dreading its very arrival. Once he left, I felt more alone than ever. Reaching up, I pushed the curtain aside and watch the very orange sun and its many rays, almost like spiky hair, slowly set over the horizon, sinking as if being forced down against its will, clawing for air and a last fighting chance.

A way out.

My mind flashed an image of Naruto in the coffin gasping for air, desperately fighting for a sign of life above him. I pressed my fingers into my head and beckoned the image to leave my mind. Slowly, it resided from the internal begging and reburied itself within the depths of my twisted, lost state of mind.

My body settled into my bed and relapsed from the amount of work I had don't today. The feeling of overexertion overcame me, and I slipped into a slumber.

^.^

I jerked up in bed breathing hard. The same image of Naruto appeared, except I was there with him. I watched him struggle and fight, not being able to do anything. The clock beeped 1:30. I settled back down in bed, but the feeling in my stomach wouldn't go away. And the ninja iron rule was: if something feels like it's wrong, it probably is. I leaped out of bed and out my window towards the gravesite. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Iruka burst through the door and faintly call my name.

My body tired form the long run but I kept on going. As I reached the graveyard, I looked up to see a familiar face, deep with concern. "Iruka…" I stammered. How had he beat me? He was standing on the ground where Naruto was buried. "Get off!" I screamed. "Get off of him!" I lunged at the ground and started to furiously dig, Iruka grabbed my body and pulled me up, shaking me until I looked him in the eyes. "Kakashi…" he started, "stop, please." I continued and fought against his body, which had become much stronger over time without me realizing it. I felt Iruka drop me. "Feigning Sleep Technique!"

I blacked out.


	3. Ramen Cups

The sun shining through the crack in the window seemed to burn my eye. Iruka was sitting in a chair across from my bed, head in hands and a look of concerned etched across his face. He saw me stir and watched me intently. I tried to fool him into thinking I was still asleep, but he noticed me wake up. I wasn't ready for a lecture on what I did was wrong. He opened his mouth as if to start, but stopped and pressed it into a thin, firm line. Lowering his eyes, I felt a surge of guilt come over me. The mask around my face constricted my throat, so I removed it and slid under the covers. He had taken off my Jonin jacket for me, thank God because it was uncomfortable to sleep in. I slipped my eyes above the covers as nonchalantly as possible. The look on his face hurt me. "Iruka," I began, "I don't know what got into m—" He cut me off. "It's okay, Kakashi. If I were you, I probably would have done the same thing." I saw his eyes glaze over. He didn't need to hold back tears while he was with me. He knew that, and I didn't need to remind him, but a person can only hope to feel so strong after someone they can relate to so well is gone.

Hope is a funny, funny word sometimes.

This isn't a laughing matter, I assure you, but if you think about it, hope never prevails. Sheer determination and luck do. The only person that could pull of all three in one shot was a certain boy who possessed the least hope of all. Hope for him was probably being eaten away more and more each day by the Kyuubi inside of him. Every taunt, every jeer, every shed tear was like a feast to him. The sugar to his spice.

They didn't call it a _demon_-fox for nothing.

I felt a nudge from above and slipped my mask back on sliding above the covers. Iruka was beaming. "Come on, Kakashi. You've been in bed for two days now, let's go visit that memorial stone, or get out and do something. This tiny room is killing me. And I tried reading some of your books. Frankly, those shouldn't be read by people under 25…but that's just my humble opinion." His words lifted my spirits a bit and I climbed out of bed.

As we walked towards the stone, I realized how much Iruka looked like Naruto when he smiled. So much hurt pushed back by such a simple gesture. Maybe I would stop wearing my mask so I could show my smile.

^.^

On the way to the stone, I noticed Iruka had left to go and eat something. I told him I would catch up later. Since that day the Third Hokage came and talked to him about his parents at the stone, he's found it too depressing to go back. I did too, but Obito's spirit in me keeps tugging me back.

Guilt is a weird and wonderful thing.

I walked over to the stone and traced the names I knew. Starting from the first person I witnessed die, to Naruto. Die and Naruto doesn't sounds right together in a sentence unless _will not_ is between them. I slid off my glove and started to unconsciously make rhymes.

O…B…I…T…O

What a great guy. He gave me his eye.

R…I…N

Such a great medical-nin.

M…I…N…A…T…O

The dad of Naruto.

The list went on and on until I got to the last name in the list.

N…A…R…

My finger started to tremble and I put my glove back on.

What time was it? Iruka always knew I stayed at the stone a long while, so I still had minutes to burn. My legs carried me towards Naruto's apartment. I climbed through the window and memories of the first day at the Academy flooded my mind.

"_So he lives here all by himself, Hokage-sama?"_

"_Yeah. Quite sad, isn't it?"_

"_Yeah, it is." I picked up the carton of milk. "If he drinks this he's going to get a stomach ache."_

My first impressions of Naruto. I walked over to the little table and picked up the empty ramen cup to throw it away. Suddenly, my ears focused in on a sound. Footsteps. Was someone on his roof? I quickly climbed out the window and onto the roof. No one was there. I swung my body back inside and saw someone standing in the kitchen. My eyes focused in on the person and I gasped.

"Sasuke?"

^.^

Sasuke smirked and sheathed his sword again. I hadn't realized it had been drawn. He walked over to me and held out his hand. My eyes narrowed in on him. "What are here for Sasuke?" I studied his face, the now more prominent lines under his eyes, though not nearly like Itachi's, his Akatsuki cloak—a new addition to him since the last time we met, the grown out hair that covered his eye brows but was still spiked, his dark eyes that gave off no sign of murderous intent.

Yet.

Sasuke looked around the apartment and shrugged. "I came to see if he was really dead." He said it so monotone, so easily, so freaking calmly you wouldn't have ever known he actually cared about Naruto at a point in time. "You should know if he was dead," I started darkly, "because you're part of the Akatsuki, and they're the ones that killed him." Sasuke rolled his eyes and scowled, but then changed his placid face into a slight grin. The grin etched on his pale face seemed so out of place, as it wrinkled his forehead and poked his dimples out. It was almost scary.

Almost.

"I actually had no idea they got Naruto until Madara mentioned something about it." I clenched my fist. Sasuke looked at the ground after noticed my whitening knuckles. "I offer my condolences." My fist released. "Can I see the gravesite?" His voice had become quiet, almost sad. Did he care? I started to say yes, but logic came into play. "Not right now, Sasuke. Someone is wating for me already. And it's daytime, and you're a missing-nin. They'll come and capture you, no matter what the reason you're here for is." I wondered how he got into the village anyways. Well, it was Sasuke after all. _The _Sasuke. The trainee of Orochimaru and legendary murderer of Itachi Uchiha. Sasuke seemed unsatisfied with this reply, though he knew it to be true. "I'm coming tonight. Meet me here." It was an order, not a request. I silently nodded my head and he disappeared. I headed off to Iruka, but something drew my attention.

I looked down at my hand and realized I was still holding Naruto's ramen cup.


	4. Flashbacks

Okay guys...I'm sorry this update took so long, and I'm sorry if this chapter's bad. I just don't have enough time to write all this stuff down. But remember..."It is far easier to word it weird and then fix it in editing, than trying to remember it long enough to word it right." - Words of a very wise person right there.

You can look forward to more of what's happening between Sasuke and Kakashi when I update later. Way later probably.

=^.^=

Naruto staggered along the dirt road heading toward certain nowhere. He grabbed his cut arm, and fought back the pain by biting his lip and cursing under his breath. "Damn it." He stopped to lean against a tree and get some air into his lungs. He was still pretty beat up from the fight with Madara. Madara was dead, but Naruto wasn't much better off. He had to wait for Madara to let his guard down. True, his ultimate plan was brilliant, but it came with a great price. Naruto hadn't expected it to go that far with Madara. Almost all of the Kyuubi chakra supply had been cut off from him, and what little of its power that was left seeped out to heal his cuts, but was pushed back by the seal the Five Kages had put on him. The Seal worked like a taser, every time you did something wrong, you were basically punished and told not to do so with an electric shock. It was almost like the device they put on him while he was in the Land of Snow. Naruto tried desperately to break the seal, but unfortunately, but he hadn't the faintest idea about seals—especially ones put on him by the Five Kages. "Damn it," he muttered again.

Naruto put his back to the tree and slid down it to a sitting position and brought his knees up to his chest. There wasn't much he could do to help himself now. He just really hoped the Leaf was okay, especially if Sasuke was going there…

_Two days earlier_

Naruto fell over on the ground and coughed up an immense amount of blood. The foot Madara just planted in his stomach didn't do much to help the cause. "Y-you bastard!" Madara screamed as Naruto watched him sputtered out the words through a split lip and the blood dripping down from his eyes. Naruto smirked and choked as Madara hit him yet again, obviously angered by the smile Naruto produced in a time like this. "You good for nothing, son-of-a-." Madara stopped and watched Naruto collapse. Zetsu walked over to Madara. "Madara-sama," he started, "I believe the Jinchuuriki is unconscious. Let us take him before he wakes up. We cannot very well perform the extraction if he is struggling," Zetsu paused and nudged Naruto with his foot, then let out a sigh of relief when he saw the blonde was still breathing, "or dead." A sigh came from the Uchiha. "Very well, Zetsu." Madara picked up Naruto and threw him over his shoulder, and headed back to the base.

Once they reached the hideout, Madara set Naruto down and summoned the Demonic Beast Statue. Madara breathed heavily and fell over, exhausted. Summoning was not something he should have been doing after a fight. "Zetsu, do you have any idea where Sasuke is? He should have been here to do the summoning." "No, Madara-sama, I believe he left to complete some research." "Damn that Uchiha brat," Madara whispered. Sasuke _was _supposed to replace Nagato, as Nagato was only Madara's pawn. Madara jumped onto the one of the fingers of the statue and began the extraction. Three days was a long time to be sitting here. _At last, at last I will have control over the world_. A feeling of pride bubbled in his chest and a grin almost split his face. Zetsu looked at him strangely. He knew Madara had been borderline insane lately, and it was scaring him. The screams at night, the laughs, and eyes that would stare you down if you dared to mention anything about his current state of mind—all due to this Eye of the Moon Plan he had been rattling on about. Zetsu's eyes snapped open when he heard Madara snicker deviously. "Not so fast, bastard." Madara's eyes opened to the half-lidded point and a toothy grin etched on his face. "I see the Kyuubi is taking over your body, Naruto-san." It was true…Madara knew he was screwed. He had to give Naruto credit; it was hard to stick it out after a fight with him. The red chakra enveloped Naruto's entire body, and three tails had already formed. As Naruto lunged towards him, Madara couldn't help but think as to how closed he had been to world domination.

3333333

Naruto and Madara lay in the crater that had once been the hideout. Naruto staggered to his knees and crawled over to Madara, who was pooling in his own blood but still barely alive.

"Where…is…Sas-" Naruto paused. It hurt to say his name.

"Sasuke?" Madara finished, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I don't know where Sasuke is." Naruto's face fell. "But I do know, that he thinks you're dead."

"What? Why?"

"Because I told him so!" Madara bellowed, coughing up blood as he laughed at Naruto's lack of intelligence. "Because I told him so. Because he thinks _you're _dead, he has stopped going after the Leaf Village, hmm?" Madara laughed again. "So if _you _go after him," he sneered, "he's bound to go after your friends, your senseis, and he won't stop until he finds _you." _Naruto felt guilt clot in his throat. "Make a choice, Naruto-kun. Would you want to please yourself and find the Sasuke you desire, or protect the ones you love? Hmm?" Madara sputtered blood, and he knew he was near the end. "Hmm, Naruto-san?" Madara paused. "Sasuke-kun," he chuckled, "you know Sasuke-kun. He'll go see if you really are dead, and if you can sell it, he will leave the Leaf alone. Otherwise," Madara sighed and remembered the 'avenger' attitude of his nephew. "Otherwise, he will not stop."

Naruto jerked back tears and breathed between sobs. "I myself, Naruto-san, do not wish to see the destruction of the Leaf, as it is my home Village. And I do not wish to see the possible death of Sasuke-kun. Use this technique to create a fake you with a shadow clone." Madara passed Naruto a scroll. "You have remained strong, and you have beaten me with your abilities. I congratulate you, Naruto, but how well will you do against Sasuke?" Madara's voice hissed off on the last syllable of Sasuke's name, and his neck went limp, allowing his head to tilt sideways indicating he was dead.

Naruto stood and took the scroll Madara had given him in hand, "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" With the Naruto clone standing next to him, he performed the seals on the scroll and allowed the clone to drop 'dead.' Naruto turned towards the woods and headed as far away from the Village as possible.


	5. Warmth

**Sorry for the uber long time it took to update…**

I stood in Naruto's apartment, my bare feet cold on the wooden floor, my eyes flickering back and forth with the shadows that danced on the wall. My eyes drew to the ceiling and I felt my heart ache when I saw muddy shoe prints up there. My gaze wavered towards the door and I spotted a familiar shape in the darkness. He stepped into the lighter part of the room, his ebony has glistening, his pale skin standing out from the shadows providing a beautiful complement to the eyes that flashed red with black ellipses in them. "Come on, Kakashi," he said, unintentionally cooing my name with a certain confidence and suaveness that could make silk look like sandpaper if silk could be made words.

As Sasuke leapt out the window, I delayed for half a second to make certain I would be out reach of his sword if he were to draw it in midair. As we flew through the night, I couldn't help but notice that he would glance at me ever-so often.

^.^

We stopped at the entrance to the cemetery. Sasuke took out his sword and threw it on the ground. "Leave your weapons here, Kakashi. We're not here to fight; we're here for a different purpose. Now, go, put your weapons down." My hand involuntarily went to my kunai pouch and threw out the metal armaments. Sasuke nodded and walked through the tall, stone pillars that seemed to forbid life.

Sasuke's footsteps treaded lightly on the dying grass, my own not being much louder. We arrived at the gravestone that had been erected in honor of the orange ninja. The raven bent down and angled his head towards the numerous flowers that had been placed on the grave, probably all from Hinata and Sakura. I noticed his lip start to quiver and his eyes glaze over. Suddenly, I saw a side of Sasuke I had only seen once before in my life, and that was when we were training.

_Sasuke threw his kunai towards a rock, splitting it in half and sending the pieces flying in every direction. "Sasuke," I began. _

"_Shut up Kakashi. Just shut the hell up. I don't need you. I don't need my family. I don't need this damn academy." He threw another kunai and watched the pieces shatter in pleasure. I saw the rock as the result of too much tension. He saw it as a way to express the __**delight **__he found in harming people; objects; selfless, compassionate wretches that had a backbone to stand up for others but not themselves. _

_This was definitely Sasuke Uchiha,_

"_What you need," I said in an attempt to calm his nerves, "is a break. You've been training for five days straight now. We have a month Sasuke. You need," my mouth went dry. "You need…"_

_Sasuke's dark eyes traced over me and took in every detail. Every freaking one._

_Then he smirked. "Kakashi, I don't need Naruto."_

_Despite his words, I could tell his persona changed as soon as he said _his _name. He made an attempt to go on, but his voice began to crack. His head dropped for a brief second then shot back up. "Let's train."_

_My eyes follow his body as he continued to work on Chidori before me. In that brief second he had dropped his eyes, I knew he felt something he's never felt before._

_**Warmth.**_

Maybe it was just a trick of the sun…oh wait, it was night time. Sasuke noticed me staring and glared at me with new found intensity. His recently found soft spot was now as dead as Itachi. Half of me expected him to flick me off. The other half thought he would start crying. My pupils focused on his body, and almost didn't notice when he began to walk away. "Sasuke, where are you going?"

"Back," he called over his shoulder. My face went deadpan. What a little bitch. At least he had mastered keeping his voice steady.

"Back where? You aren't going to say anything?" I yelled over the now-howling wind. "He's dead! He can't protect you! You have nowhere to call _back_, Sasuke!" I snarled those last few words.

"Kakashi, damn it," he boomed, his words proceeded immediately by a crack of thunder. Then he started to laugh. He didn't laugh actually, he _screeched_. He sounded like he was in _pain._ It was quite eerie. Something no one ever wants to hear at night, or ever wants to hear at all. He voice out matched the wind and now more frequent thunder claps, overpowering it in volume and maniacal angst. He voice quieted. "He's not dead," he whispered. "He's not dead." I stared at him wide eyed, overcoming the urge to scream at him and wring that slender, ivory neck of his then shove reality down his throat. The rain started to pour, just like the day of the funeral. "He's not dead," I barely managed to make out, "because it doesn't feel empty inside yet. When I met Naruto, I instantly swore I would be the one to defeat, inwardly and in front of everyone else. I was never at rest in Orochimaru's layer. I didn't think of anything expect him and that stupid feeling inside that wouldn't shut the hell up." He exhaled and I heard him breathe in rapidly, most likely to refill his lungs after that speech he just gave. I don't think I've ever heard him talk so much in one sentence. He turned to walk away and I screamed his name. I cut off half way when I realized he wasn't yet done talking.

"I know he isn't dead because my warmth hasn't left yet. I can still feel him, hear his voice, see his smiling face…and it's annoying as fuck." With that he disappeared with a flash of lightning that left me blinded for a half second.

_It's annoying as fuck._

The words echoed in my head. I knew he didn't mean them, because if he meant them, he wouldn't have said it. Sasuke never says what he means, or means what he says—and that's a fact.

With that conclusion, I shoved my hands in my pockets and stared at the pooling water. I turned on my heels and just barely resisted the urge to crush the flower that was growing in the center of that puddle and disturb the perfect stillness we all knew and loved so well.

I thought it was just getting as annoying as fuck.

^.^

Okay guys, I want to throw another character in there, but whom? Throw me a random Naruto character's name, and I'll include him/her in my next chapter. I'm getting the jist that this story is beginning to get boring…

Oh, and since today's Halloween, and I've decided to be Kankuro, how should I paint my face? Should I do it like it is in Part one, or Part two, or when he's talking to Gaara in Part two? Thanks! :D


	6. Aesthetics

**HALLOWEEN UPDATION!**

**Ok well, I'm still working on the next chapter to my story **_**Closed Azure Eyes Tell No Stories**_**, but I wanted to throw something out there in honor Halloween and all you wonderful people. If you like it, I might do more stuff like this later on every now and then in the story, just to lighten the mood. I was going to go creepy, but maybe next time loves.**

Sasuke never was one for aesthetics.

In fact, it was on that long list of things he didn't or never will like. As of today, the list totaled to 137. Actually, scratch that. Make it 138. He now hated the number 137.

It fell under the category of "Useless Things People in This World Like" in his mental list. There were at least 50 items in that folder which slipped perfectly into that raven colored filing cabinet of his. You see, he had a category for _everything_. There were exactly 8 items in the "People I Despise" section, around 70 items in the "I'll Think About it Later" register, 14 items in the "Food I Absolutely Cannot and Never Will Eat" file, 19 things in the "Itachi" section (yes, he had a file specially for Itachi—how special, I'm sure he feels loved), and at least 50 billion things that annoyed him about his teammates, although he didn't make a file for that—it was more a psychological directory, a directory that got just a tiny bit smaller each time Sasuke imagined slicing through them with a Chidori.

Oh, and another thing: _girls._

Sasuke's never had a good experience with them. Ever. They followed him around, and they were whiny little bitches sometimes. The only one he could ever stand was Hinata Hyuga. And he'd never been able to look at them or even think about them in the same way after...that dreadful night. He remembered back to when he was the tender age of six his dad called Itachi in to his room. Now, Sasuke had made a habit of listening on their conversations, so he would find out what his father wanted Itachi to do, and then Sasuke would do it before Itachi and get love from his father. Genius, right? Right Sasuke. Whatever you say.

Back to the point, so as dear little innocent Sasuke listen to the conversation, he felt his ears go red from the topic being discussed. Not that he knew what half of it was, but he heard some of these terms before in movies and crazy romance books.

"So Itachi," started Fugaku, "how's that girlfriend of yours?" (1)

"Uh-uhm, she's doing well Dad." Itachi sounded uncomfortable. Hell was going to freeze over now.

"Good, good." An uncomfortable pause came between them. "Ah. So have you tried anything with her?" Sasuke heard Itachi choke.

"WHAT? God, no. Oh God no." Silence. Sasuke had seen Itachi's 'girlfriend' before. She was pretty he admitted. But what did their dad mean by "try something?" Kissing? Because he'd seen them do that before. The thoughts of what else 'something' could be swirled around in the little raven's head.

"Well, if you ever need help with anything, just ask me 'tachi. You know I know how to make a woman happy," his voice sounded smug and loose. Something his father _never _was. Sasuke heard a couple grunts and quick, odd sounds from his father, and then a bellowing laugh.

In the next few seconds, Itachi came out looking as white as a ghost. Itachi bent down and whispered something to Sasuke that he would NEVER forget. "Sasuke, I love you, and I'm your brother. So I have to tell you this: Never, ever, get a girlfriend. And if you do by some strange whim of cruelty, never, ever, bring her home to dad." Itachi stood and waddled off, and Sasuke swore he could see him shaking.

Itachi broke up with his girlfriend the next day.

After witnessing these events, he decided girls must be absolutely _terrible_ to make even Itachi purposely avoid them. Sasuke implanted Itachi's words in his head, and has lived true to them to this very day. So what, Sasuke never liked girls. It might have made him gay if he didn't take must of an interest in guys either, but right now Sasuke had decided to go with asexual. "Plain and simple," he had said to countless people, _so go shove it up your ass_.

Sasuke sighed and put his head in his hands, massaging his temples and wishing for this god-forsaken day to end. Yes, today was Halloween, probably his _least _favorite holiday of the entire year.

Why you ask?

_Simple_, he thought. During Halloween, people dress up and try to be something they're not. They try to look good, and then flounce around in either too tight or ugly costumes that either makes them look like sluts (Sasuke glanced over at the costume Karin was trying on), or people who belong in insane asylums (he turned towards the long, pink kimono Suigetsu had tried on while screaming at a cursing Karin that his complemented his eyes.) Thankfully, Jugo had gone to get food.

Sasuke again began to massage his temples.

Slowly, Sasuke tilted his head back to lean on the tree he had oh-so carefully chosen, just because it was far enough away from the village that if one of his teammates decided to "borrow" something, they could all get away relatively fast. Sasuke closed his eyes and felt the sun on his face which slowly heated up his body.

_What would Itachi be doing this Halloween_? Sasuke wondered. Ever since "the incident", Sasuke mind had unconsciously drifted to Itachi, usually at the most inconvenient of times. During a battle or an argument with Suigetsu was usually one of those times. It made him uncomfortable really. Sasuke quickly shook the feeling and went to another Itachi-fied thought.

_What would Itachi dress up as?_

Sasuke silently chuckled to himself as he thought of Itachi in a dress and a pink wig, like that Sakura he despised so very much. Sasuke's grin turned to a frown. _Damn, even HE could make that look good._

It was true, as much as Sasuke hated, and he meant HATED to admit it. Itachi was one hell of a man, a good looking one at that. True he hadn't really noticed when he was attacking him, but when he thought back, he just had to relish on the thoughts of Itachi's hair blowing in the wind, or how Itachi made his Grand Fireball look so much cooler than his.

Sasuke slightly stuck his tongue out at the thought. HE had never TRIED to look good, so HE never looked better than Itachi. Sasuke settled on the thought and tried to bury it, but it kept coming back up like annoying zombies or something to that effect. Sasuke started a mental comparison.

1) Hair: Sasuke hand came to his chin. It was a draw. Itachi had great hair because he did something to it. He wasn't sure what exactly, but something. No one's hair was that straight while still slightly curling at the bangs to frame his perfectly heart-shaped, chiseled, and glamorous—ugh. Getting off subject yet again. Way to go Sasuke. But it definitely was a draw. Sasuke remembered one time when he tried to make his hair look messy, but all the girls just ended up cooing over it because it had more "oomph." Well, he never tried _that _again. Score: 0-0.

2) Eyes: Eyes definitely went to Itachi. He had longer lashes, prettier Sharingan (pretty? Where the hell did that come from?), and they just had a better aesthetic appeal. Sasuke's were…well, no comment. Score: Itachi in the lead with 1-0.

Sasuke never was into aesthetics. That was a good enough excuse.

3) Body: Sasuke, definitely. He showed it off so he should get the point, agreed? Scored: Tied 1-1.

Now what next? How about…

4) Ninpo: Itachi had better, more flashy techniques, Sasuke inwardly admitted. It was those types of technique that you were honored while absolutely _terrified_ to be killed by. Sasuke knew firsthand. Sasuke's techniques were well, boring-ish. True, he had a few kick-ass one's up his sleeve, but they were more get in, get out techniques. Techniques designed to kill, quickly and efficiently.

Sasuke squirmed at the thought of Itachi winning _his _competition. There had to be something else. Had to be something else…Oh!

5) Sasuke didn't sweat. Simple as that. Yes, he got flushed rather quickly, but Sasuke in no way sweated. He would just turn in to a hotter version of a tomato, and I mean, you are what you eat, right? But seriously, Itachi would sweat like _crazy_. He remembered that one time after he sprained his ankle and Itachi carried him, Itachi was soaked, literally. He smelled awful also. But you see, Sasuke didn't sweat. Sasuke smirked. Score 2-2. Now just one more…Sasuke winced.

Where did the sun go? Sasuke's face had cooled down rather quickly because **there was no freaking sun.** Sasuke cracked one eye open to see Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo standing over him. Sasuke groaned inwardly and sat up. The trio of idiots were beaming. "Move," surprisingly they all stepped to the side. Something was up.

"Sasuke!" Karin started, and finished quickly once Sasuke glared at her stupid, glasses framed eyes. "I brought you a tomato, Sasuke-kun," Jugo said in his polite and calming voice. Sasuke reached out and grabbed the fruit and took a bite. _Mmmm, it so…what if it's poisoned? _Sasuke immediately spit out the bite he had taken and eyed them. "What do you want?"

The three shuffled their feet then took their hands out from behind their backs. "Well," Suigetsu said in his haughty voice (which he wasn't going to get anything with speaking to Sasuke like that), "while Jugo was in town he saw an advertisement for a festival in honor of," Suigetsu stopped. He knew Sasuke despised that word. "Hell-o-weenie," Karin finished. Suigetsu grinned at her cunning was of saying "it." Sasuke frowned and stood. "Well, you three can go, and I'll be in my tent. Don't wake me until this bloody day is over."

"Sasuke wait!" Sasuke spun on his heels to see Jugo with his hand outstretched. "Uhh, we wanted you to go with us. So we got you this." Suigetsu held out a mask that resembled something like a smiling mouse with great big pink orbs for eyes, something that made Sasuke cringe on sight. "You can't be serious." Suigetsu blinked but didn't retract his hand.

"Please?"

"No."

Karin joined. "Please?"

"Absolutely not."

Jugo decided to add to the pitiful duet. "Pleaseeeee?"

Sasuke looked at them. "Fine. Jackasses." He snatched the mask and slipped it over his head. "Let's get this over with."

^.^

Karin walked into the lit up town, dazzled by the amount of neon and free food. Suigetsu had already stuffed his face and was basically bursting out of his costume. At least they didn't make Sasuke didn't dress up. Yet.

Karin was wearing something of a warrior-decked-in-leather costume, something that was obviously popular with the girls. As they walked through the town, they noticed all eyes were on them. "What's with them?" Sasuke whispered.

"They're all staring at your outfit, Sasuke. Put this on." Suigetsu held out a robe decked in baby blue flowers and purple vines.

"Hell no."

"Sasuke," Suigetsu said in somewhat of a serious/condescending tone. It's a good thing Sasuke was in a good mood tonight, because he put the robe on.

Karin inspected Sasuke and felt her heart drop. His chest was covered now. Sigh. She needed a break from this madness. "Let's go grab some sake."

^.^

The four sat in the bar with three drinking to their hearts content. Sasuke had easily gotten them past the guard at the entrance, and it was pretty much free-for-all once you got in. Karin was already tipsy, Jugo was feasting on liquor soaked kalamari, and Suigetsu was easily downing three or four shots in a minute's time. Sasuke sat like a fence post in the corner. Alcohol did funny things to him. Like got him sick for weeks at a time. He never understood why, but he knew to stay away from it once he accidentally took a drink of his mother's sake.

Oh the horror of not being able to drink anything but sweet tea for two weeks. Maybe that was how he grew to avoid sweet stuff.

"Sasuke, drink," Suigetsu said, tipping his glasses to where half its contents stained the birght blue robe Sasuke was wearing. At least he had an excuse to take it off now.

"No."

"Please?"

"Fine."

Sasuke took a sip and choked down he fermented liquid.

It was all downhill from there.

^.^

Sasuke woke up on the outskirts of the village nearly stripped of his clothes and raped of what little bit of inner peace he had started the night with. "Oh my fucking God."

"What the hell Suigetsu? You got us kicked out of there too?" Karin screamed. _Please, something, make her stop._ Sasuke rubbed his forehead and watched from a distance Suigetsu ward off Karin's attacks.

Sasuke slowly managed to get to his feet and head to break up the two. "I hate Halloween," he mumbled on his way there. _And how do they not have a hangover. Surely they drank more than me, right? _Sasuke paused. _Right? _He continued his half-assed attempt at a walk. Once they were apart, both looked at him with dazed and confused eyes.

"Sasuke?" Karin managed. "When did you start wearing makeup?"

"Yeah," Suigetsu agreed, "and I have to say, I really liked the black hair better. Red hair just makes you look like a wannabe sluttier version of Karin." Karin fumed.

Sasuke pushed his hair out of his eyes and went to find a hole to crawl up and die in for another hour or so.

Remember, Sasuke never was one for aesthetics.

^.^

(1) Yes, Itachi did have a girlfriend. If you listen to Madara explain who Itachi killed during the massacre after Sasuke killed Itachi, Madara specially mentions his lover. Not the lover's name, just "his lover."

**If you like the lighter mood as so, check out my story **_**30 Ways to Annoy Kakashi Hatake Continued**_**. **

**Oh and remember, I need some ideas for characters to put in the later chapters of my Closed Azure Eyes Tell No Stories fanfic. Rate and Review please, for the sake of Halloween =D**

**Now I tip to you my imaginary bottle of sake. **

**-Crunchy**


	7. Reversed

_To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting._

Sasuke, what if the roles were reversed?

It's not a hard question, Sasuke. And I'm willing to bet that you've thought of it too.

What if you were the poor little boy that everyone ignored and didn't want anything to do with? I hate to say it Sasuke, but I think you'd slightly enjoy it. Now, what if you had a friend that you trusted with your life, and he left? Just walked out the door right after punching you in the gut. Would you go after him or would you start to cry like you always did. That's right; when you were little I always saw the tears in your eyes. You put on quite a show for everyone with pain as the lead actor and spite as the backup dancers. I was always your number one fan too—except you couldn't fool me.

I always knew how you felt, I always came to comfort you when you fell, and I always wanted to hold you like the brother you are to me. But you ran away. You ran away from life, you ran away from Konoha, you ran away from your past, and you ran away from me.

So back to my original question: what if the roles were reversed?

What if I was the brave Uchiha, the last of his clan that survived a slaughter by the goodness of his older brother's heart? What if I possessed the Sharingan and was being sought after by a maniac who wanted my body? What if I always left you in the road, dirt pooling at your feet, tears pooling in your eyes, and anger pooling in your soul? Well here's the thing, I wouldn't.

I'd love you Sasuke, hell, I do love you Sasuke. And it kills me inside that you can't say any words other than "idiot" or "bastard" towards me. How about "friend" or "brother?" Or maybe, "I'll come home."

Sasuke, I want to hear those words so badly I nearly cry myself to sleep at night.

Sasuke, I'm not asking you to call me a bastard or idiot because I'm thinking of this, since God knows you will-but really Sasuke, am I that useless to you? Am I really just a bond that needs to be broken, a bug that needs to be squashed, a memory that has to be forgotten for you to move on? Well I hope so, because that means I'm doing my job right.

Because the roles aren't reversed and they will never be, stand still and let me come save you from the hurt knocked you down. Let me save you from yourself before it kills you.

Let me be you Sasuke.

**I am most sorry that I haven't updated to the actually story in a while, but I wrote this one during class and I know it probably isn't that good—so I'll try to make it up to you guys in the next chapter. Thank you all for your support and love (: please review and help with any constructive criticism. Also, what do you guys feel would be a good ending to the story? I'm still working out the kinks, but I'm writing this tale to please you guys. Enjoy.**

**Oh, and if anyone is a SaixNaru fan, check out my new one-shot. It should be up by tonight. **

**w/TOL- Crunchy **


	8. Bittersweet Illusions

**Hey guys. Sorry about this, but I'm gonna have to out this story on hiatus for awhile, not long, maybe a month or so due to all the damn AP work I have. I promise I'll get back to updating ASAP when I get out of this test zone and I come up with some better ideas for the story. **

**Since I didn't want this to be a complete Author's Note, here's a little piece of what's coming for ya. :)**

"Sasuke," Naruto whispered bitterly, despite the attempts he had made to find a sliver of compassion for the Uchiha in his soul, and he had dug down deep. Deep into the recessed memories of hate, fear, and loneliness the raven had given him, hoping that while they were shoved into the back of his heart they had turned into love, joy, and compassion.

Those feelings had not even come close to doing so.

In fact, they had contorted themselves into twisted insanity, the kind that sends you into a maniacal fit of laughter when you see the person you're holding the grudge against. A laughter that targets the deepest fears of a person rather than enchants their ears with bellowing echoes. Naruto had reached the point of breaking and let out a hollow chuckle. Sasuke's lips parted as if he was going to comment on it, but rather his face returned to the normalism of stoic blandness we have all come to hate. Only one word could accurately describe what was heard in Naruto's hysteric: Despair.

Sasuke stiffened his body as though he were in a state of rigimortus and paled like the draining corpse he wished himself to be. Sasuke never fancied the idea of fighting Naruto, but this was it. He had never tried before, he never really put forth effort into Naruto's demise, and now he was caught face to face as a sorry bastard with the blond hero he had heard so much about. But it was too late to turn back now.

Naruto watched as Sasuke effortlessly drew a kunai and spun it around on his index finger, occasionally letting it slide onto the next finger just as a tease for him. Naruto felt his teeth start to grow, feeling as if they were being ripped from his gum, but ignored the physical pain in favor of the emotional pain. Sasuke watched as Naruto slowly lost his cool, from him doing as much as simply spinning a kunai. It was when Naruto dropped to his knees that Sasuke lost the rhythm he had perfected and allowed the metal piece to slip through his fingers and land on the ground, shattering the silence he had worked so hard to establish. Sasuke bent to pick it up, but was cut off by a slight pain in his leg. _Damn, _it had cut him on the way down. His torn gown slowly started to stain with the red substance, and Naruto looked up from where he was on the ground.

His eyes were a shocking colors of red, ostentatious enough to rip Sasuke's eyes away from the crimson coloring his leg in thin, hot strands. _Were they ever this color before?_ He didn't believe so. Naruto stumbled to his feet and smiled eerily, as if he knew something Sasuke didn't. "Sasuke," he murmured in a deep, dark undertone Sasuke couldn't believe Naruto was capable of (for it almost resembled his voice), "you smell _good._" Sasuke flinched noticeably at the words and prepared a comeback but realized Naruto had taken off and was already at his back, eyes gleaming brightly with the same terror as before. Naruto had wrapped an arm around Sasuke's waist and dug his teeth into Sasuke's neck, making Sasuke moan in guilty pleasure...Orochimaru never bit him nearly as hard.

Sasuke threw back his head and angled it to where Naruto could dig his teeth even deeper into his pale skin. Why? Well, why not? It felt good, amazing at that, and Sasuke longed for more. When brushing his head back against the blond ninja unintentionally (or not), Sasuke felt Naruto jerk slightly. _What is this? A sick joke?_

Logic came into play as Sasuke realized what was happening and flew back, barely avoiding the kunai in Naruto's right hand, surrounded by perfect claws. So this was Naruto's plan...but this wasn't Naruto. He had heard Naruto received the key to the Nine Tails' power, and did an excellent job of controlling it. Or was the demon fox controlling him? Did it sit back like an innocent puppy, then slowly coax it's way into Naruto's mind when Naruto knew he need its power the most? How fucking sick. Sasuke knew the feeling though, it was a feeling of debauchery, the feeling you receive after a tremendous fight which you won: it was a feeling of liberation, ecstasy, and empowerment rolled into one. A feeling that could only be counteracted by guilt for normal people, extreme anger for Sasuke, and fulfillment for Naruto. Sasuke couldn't let that happen. It wasn't his time to die. Not yet, anyways. Konoha had yet to see its end.

The blood dripping down Sasuke's neck slightly turned him on and gave him a feeling of warmth in his body, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Sasuke faced his opponent again and saw blood thirst in his eyes. Naruto broke the gaze, thankfully. It made Sasuke slightly uncomfortable looking into his eyes and realizing what everyone else had seen in his and Itachi's eyes. It could have been mistaken easily for lust. Sasuke spread his legs and assumed his fighting stance, activating his Sharingan. "Come on, idiot, are we going to fight or not?" He said this talking to Naruto, not the Kyuubi; and wanted-more like needed-the Kyuubi out of the battle. _Come on, Naruto, look me in the eyes once more._

"Damn straight we a-" Naruto snapped, but paused once he realized what he had fallen into. He and Sasuke now stood in the same room as before, with water and orange bubbles at their feet, originating from the Kyuubi. Sasuke placed his hand on the Kyuubi's nose and squeezed gently, the Kyuubi bellowing, "Now, Uchiha, are we really doing this again?" He laughter wafted through the air entranced Sasuke's mind. _No, stop, _his hand gripped the nose and thrust his palm through the Kyuubi. Sasuke spun around to Naruto and hit him, sending him flying across the room and crashing into the wall. Satisfied, he exited Naruto's mind. Naruto stumbled for air and slipped out of his trance. An ominous feeling swept over him and he looked around. "Huh, what the hell? Sasuke? Why are you-"

"Good, Uzumaki, you're out of your haze. Now we can begin," Sasuke put on a grin and hoped to end this quickly.

"Wha-?" Naruto was suddenly choking for air, raped of what oxygen had been in his lungs before. Sasuke stood under him, gripping his neck and slowly lifting him off the ground. Naruto managed to pry himself out of Sasuke's stone cold death grip and fall back, allowing him to escape the chakra blade Sasuke wielded. Sasuke shrugged and sheathed his blade before screaming "CHIDORI!" and charged at Naruto. _Fuck, Naruto. I'm sorry. _

Sasuke winced as the words sounded odd even in his head.

Naruto blinked and felt pain surge through his stomach, allowing him to cry out and spit blood on Sasuke white shirt. He craned his neck and realized Sasuke's Chidori had broken the skin on his stomach. Naruto's head suddenly felt light, airy even, as he wondered what would happen if the seal on his stomach were burnt off. But moreover, even though this was a stupid, stupid question,

_When did Sasuke get so fast?_

**Here's a new word for ya: equilibrium.** **The perfect balance.**_  
_


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